literature

Living 50/50

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Literature Text

"I'm going to say something and you're not going to like it."
reassuring.
"Alright, go ahead."
"Well I'd like you to wear something feminine, when you accept your award in Washington D.C."
.....what?
"Oh,.... why?"
"Well, I just do."
.....but...
"I think that when you see a picture of you, all womanly and dressed nicely, years from now you'll look back and be glad you were dressed that way,"
...but mom.....
" and I don't expect you to actually listen to any of this, but I just wanted you to know. I think you should wear something that shows off your figure, not something straight from your father's closet."
...those come from my closet...
"Are.....I'm sorry how I dress bothers you...."
"Oh no no! I love how you dress! I've always loved it and all your life you've set trends and it's always so cool to see what you wear in the morning. I wish I had your fashion sense!"
....but you just said....
"It's just that you look so nice, you have a great figure, great arms, you're just gorgeous, and your dress shirt and vest just don't do it for me."
....I'm not trying to do anything for you....
"...I don't want to start my art career with people looking at me like that."
"Oh, haha! I'm not telling you to dress like a slut!"
"I know.."
"And you can't avoid people looking at you like that."
"...yes I can though.."
"Just nicely! Something feminine. I love how you can go from feminine strapless red dress to masculine clothes but still looking feminine."
....owch....
"It's just what I'd want to see. You're a beautiful young woman and I want to see you like that."
....but...mom.....
if I do that

how are they going to know I'm a boy?
I have an award ceremony in July....Washington D.C. for a huge crowd and the presentation of a quarter of my tuition paid.
...My mother was in the best mood I've seen her in in ages today and in the middle of driving she brings this up.

.....damn it Mom, it's hard enough trying to balance my own feelings and comfort without you passively stating you displeasure.
You don't like how I dress now...I know that....
you didn't like me telling you I like girls either..but whatever.

My name is Eli.
I like girls.
I like boys.
I dress like both.
I'm more comfortable as the latter.

I know you don't really like any of that...but hey.....at least you're trying...
at least you'll warm up to it eventually...

oh my life
© 2013 - 2024 im-Rem
Comments23
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WH1T3-N0153's avatar
Oh, the classic, "But you're such a pretty girl! It's such a waste for you to dress like a boy."
Sorry dude. Sucks when people not-so-subtley try to push you to be a gender you don't identify with. Especially the implication that later you're going to regret your current gender identity, and that it's 'only a phase'.